He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
