dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I didn't notice because vodka
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
