no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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