Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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