As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
