guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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