And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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