Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
