I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
