It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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