No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
