no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
