small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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