All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this boner is exhausting
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
