And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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