yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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