Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
