I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize