Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
