with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
