How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
