so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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