sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
