come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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