Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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