It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize