Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
