Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
