youre lurking in front of me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
