stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
