so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
