so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
