Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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