Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I look better un-naked...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
