We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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