Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
