found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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