A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
