The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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