I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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