There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
