$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
