I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
