See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
