How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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