It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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