My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
