morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
