that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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