Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
my poor anus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
