hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
