i just had sex bonerless
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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