Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
