i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
