when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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