I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
