Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
