i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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