Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
