He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
