not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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