I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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