My hand turned me down
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
