Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
